


cheetahs aren't adept at literature

by joshllyman



Series: paper tigers (Sportsfest: Team 29 Balls to the Face Main Round 2 Entry) [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Anxiety, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25792405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joshllyman/pseuds/joshllyman
Summary: It wasn’t exactly his idea to hire Bokuto, anyway. His friend group had hosted an intervention of sorts, sending Washio in to discuss the possibility of help for him. Even after their discussion, it had taken Akaashi three additional panic attacks, including one where he was stuck under his own kitchen table in his shifted form, before he’d visited the website. The thought of shifting in the middle of his upcoming finals was humiliating, and he had no idea what other options he had.Cheetahs aren’t exactly adept at literature, anyway.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: paper tigers (Sportsfest: Team 29 Balls to the Face Main Round 2 Entry) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871071
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57
Collections: SportsFest 2020 Main Round 2





	cheetahs aren't adept at literature

Akaashi remembers scowling at the advertisement when he’d first seen it.

 _Emotional support shifters!!!!!_ it exclaimed in bright red lettering. _Great for anxiety!! Depression!! Bipolar!! ADHD!!!!_ There was a website and a phone number provided below.

Akaashi wonders now if Bokuto, the emotional support shifter assigned to him, had written the advertisement himself. On several levels, Bokuto is the opposite of Akaashi. Where Akaashi is generally quiet and reserved, Bokuto is loud and outgoing. Where Akaashi gets severe anxiety from being around too many people, Bokuto seems to prefer large crowds. He manages to quell that urge for Akaashi’s sake, thankfully.

It wasn’t exactly his idea to hire Bokuto, anyway. His friend group had hosted an intervention of sorts, sending Washio in to discuss the possibility of help for him. Even after their discussion, it had taken Akaashi three additional panic attacks, including one where he was stuck under his own kitchen table in his shifted form, before he’d visited the website. The thought of shifting in the middle of his upcoming finals was humiliating, and he had no idea what other options he had.

Cheetahs aren’t exactly adept at literature, anyway.

It’s strange, getting used to someone being around him _all the time_. Especially when that someone is as loud as Bokuto Koutarou. He talks almost constantly, asking Akaashi questions about anything and everything that pops into his head. It’s a little overwhelming, but Bokuto is good at sensing when Akaashi’s had enough questions. At those times, he tends to change, talking about himself, telling stories about his own life. He’s always quieter at those times, at least by a little bit. 

The first day Akaashi feels well enough to venture outside his apartment, they’re walking to class when he looks up and sees the amount of people on the sidewalk around him. Everyone’s in their own little world, headed to class or to their dorms or to lunch, but there are so many of them, so close, and suddenly he feels like it’s impossible to breathe. He stops walking and bends over, hands to his knees. He’s about to try to speak, to signal for Bokuto, but Bokuto is already at his side.

“Let’s get you somewhere a little more private,” Bokuto says, his normally loud voice hushed by urgency. His arm wraps firmly around Akaashi’s waist, and even though he feels like he can’t move at all, he’s moving, off the sidewalk crowded with university students and into a quiet building. He’s not at all aware of what’s happening until Bokuto’s closing a door behind him and he collapses against the floor.

His other form comes to him easily, as it often does when his anxiety is overwhelming. It’s easier to curl in on himself and wait for the feelings to pass like this, no matter how humiliating it might be for someone to walk in and find a shivering cheetah on the floor.

But he’s not alone this time, and it’s only a moment or two before a shaggy golden retriever is joining him, whining softly as he lays down beside Akaashi. He bumps into Akaashi’s head until Akaashi lifts it up, and then he lays with his head directly where Akaashi’s was. Slowly, Akaashi sets his head down on top of Bokuto’s.

Bokuto is quieter in dog form, it turns out. He breathes deeply, and Akaashi can’t help but line his breathing up with Bokuto’s. Minutes pass, and the intense emotions bleed out of Akaashi’s brain slowly. Bokuto is patient and unmoving, seemingly content to just rest with his head beneath Akaashi’s. 

Finally, Akaashi sits up and shifts back into human form. He reaches over to scratch behind Bokuto’s ears.

“Thank you,” he murmurs.

Bokuto shifts, and Akaashi yanks his hand away.

“Hey, hey, hey!” He’s loud again, until he catches the look on Akaashi’s face. Then he quiets himself. “That wasn’t too bad, right? You calmed down pretty quickly.”

Akaashi sighs and rests his head against the wall. “I did.”

Bokuto scoots over so he’s sitting next to Akaashi. They’re close, but Bokuto still gives him enough space, which is nice. He’d been afraid of Bokuto hovering after a panic attack. 

“You seem pretty tired now,” Bokuto observes.

“I am,” Akaashi admits. “Panic attacks are bad enough, but when I shift uncontrollably, it’s exhausting.”

Bokuto nods and purses his lips. “How much time are you spending shifted? Outside of when you’re having attacks.”

“None,” Akaashi replies. “Being shifted always reminds me of the feeling of an attack. I don’t want to have to feel that outside of an actual attack.”

Bokuto hums thoughtfully. “Maybe you should try spending more time in your other form? If you start to associate positive memories with it, it should be easier to control when you shift, and it won’t feel quite so exhausting when you shift back.”

Akaashi sighs. “I have class,” he says shortly. He struggles to his feet, and he’s surprised to find Bokuto at his side in a flash, helping to steady him. He looks at Bokuto for a long moment.

“Sorry,” Bokuto says, stepping away from him. “I know you don’t like to be touched without consent.”

Akaashi blinks. “It’s okay,” he says. “Come on, I’m already late.”

Bokuto nods, and the two of them start off once again in the direction of Akaashi’s classroom.

***

Bokuto hauls a large bucket of dog toys out of the trunk of his car on Saturday afternoon. Akaashi, seated on a bench near the parking lot, crosses his arms when he sees it.

“I’m not a child,” he says irritably as Bokuto approaches. “And neither are you.”

“Do adult dogs need to play any less than puppies?” Bokuto asks.

“I’ve never had a dog.”

“Well, that explains a lot,” Bokuto answers with a grin. “Animals of all ages need enrichment, Akaashi. So do people, really. It’s why board games and video games and movies and music and plays and books exist. We have to keep our minds entertained or we lose our humanity.”

“Don’t we risk that if we spend more time in shifted form?” Akaashi retorts.

Bokuto guffaws. “Aw, come on, Akaashi, that’s some right-wing conspiracy theory and you know it. There haven’t been any studies where intelligence or emotional intelligence have been decreased by spending more time shifted.”

Akaashi sighs. He supposes he’s not going to get out of this. “Very well. What do you propose we do?”

“We play, Akaashi.” Bokuto dumps the bucket of toys out onto the ground. “Just let it come naturally.”

Bokuto shifts first, practically jumping into his animal form. He runs around the bench Akaashi’s sitting on, barking and wagging his tail. Akaashi finds himself smiling, at least a little bit. 

His anxiety is pretty low today, overall. There are others at the park, but everyone is spread out far enough that Akaashi doesn’t feel like he’s being surrounded. Having Bokuto with him the last few days has enabled him to get to class and get homework done, so his workload isn’t overwhelming him like it has been. Still, the thought of just shifting, for no reason, causes his stomach to churn nervously.

Bokuto stands up on his front paws on Akaashi’s knees. His eyes, still bright gold even in dog form, look right into Akaashi’s. 

“Fine,” Akaashi says, standing and knocking Bokuto off of him. He takes a few steps and closes his eyes, willing his body to change. It’s been years since he did this intentionally; he thought it would cause him trouble. Instead, he finds that the next time he opens his eyes, he’s on Bokuto’s level, and all the swirling thoughts in his brain have simplified.

Bokuto barks at him again and takes off, streaking across the park in a flash of gold. Akaashi freezes for a moment, afraid, but when Bokuto circles back around, he knocks into Akaashi’s side. Their flanks touch, and Akaashi can feel the pounding of Bokuto’s heart through his rib cage. 

Bokuto comes around in front and bows low, his tail high in the air and wagging, and when he starts to run again, Akaashi runs after him. It’s been ages since he last ran in this form. He’d forgotten what it's like to feel pure adrenaline coursing through his muscles, urging him to run just for the sake of running. It’s easy to catch Bokuto, to overtake him, and suddenly the game is reversed. Bokuto is chasing after him, and Akaashi is running around as quickly as he can. 

Bokuto herds him over toward the bucket of toys he’d dumped out earlier. Akaashi impulsively grabs a rope toy, and they tug it back and forth. Bokuto is stronger, but Akaashi is wily, stealing the toy away when Bokuto gets distracted. 

In the back of his mind he’s aware that people are watching them; shifters that have wild animal forms are uncommon, and even in countries where cheetahs are native there are very few cheetah shifters. In his human form, he might be concerned. He hates attention of any sort. But it’s easier to ignore when his safety is secured by Bokuto at his side. 

When they both run out of breath, Bokuto flops down on his side near the bench and the toys. His tail still thumps happily against the ground, his tongue flung out of the side of his mouth. Akaashi lays against his back and catches his breath. 

When he’s breathing evenly again, Akaashi rolls over and shifts back into human form. “I admit it,” he says. “I had fun.”

“I won’t say I told you so,” Bokuto replies.

Akaashi turns his head to look at Bokuto. Their hands rest beside each other’s in the grass.

“It’s been so long since I shifted on purpose,” Akaashi says quietly. “But everything came back so quickly. I thought it would be hard.”

“Like riding a bike,” Bokuto says. 

Akaashi turns his whole body so he can look at Bokuto properly. “Thank you,” he says, trying to put weight and sincerity into his words. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

Bokuto beams at him. “I bet you won’t even need my help after a few weeks.”

Akaashi sighs and stands, going to put the toys back in the bucket. “We’ll see, I suppose.”

***

Classes get easier with Bokuto around. Almost everything gets easier with Bokuto around.

Akaashi is able to go out to dinner with his friends again. Bokuto gets along with them like a house on fire, and by the end of it he and Konoha are scheming in a way that has Akaashi and Shirofuku exchanging apprehensive glances. 

Akaashi doesn’t miss any more classes. He still sits in the back, keeping an eye on the door, but Bokuto sits beside him, and just his presence makes listening and taking notes a little easier. His grades improve dramatically, and within weeks he’s acing all his courses again. 

And every Saturday, he and Bokuto go to the park and play. There’s no more hesitation in shifting into his other form. As soon as his feet hit the grass, he’s running on four legs instead of two. Under Bokuto’s careful supervision, he’s even able to interact with some of the other animals at the park. 

A week and a half before finals, Akaashi is finishing an essay while Bokuto sits on the couch flipping through channels on the television. Strictly speaking, Bokuto was off duty several hours ago after Akaashi’s classes ended, but he’d followed Akaashi back to his apartment anyway. Akaashi hadn’t even questioned it. 

“There’s really nothing on tonight,” Bokuto sighs, tossing the controller onto the side table. “You wanna put on a movie?”

“We could go see Konoha,” Akaashi suggests. “He and Washio have an old Gamecube.”

“Don’t you have homework?” Bokuto questions.

Akaashi shuts his laptop. “Just finished,” he says, and Bokuto pumps his fist into the air.

Technically Akaashi has a standing invitation to the apartment Konoha and Washio share, but he sends a text ahead of time as a courtesy, anyway. There’s pizza waiting for them when they arrive. They crowd around the tiny, broken-down table in Konoha and Washio’s kitchen, where Konoha tells stories about his and Akaashi’s middle and high school days. Akaashi blushes fiercely through most of it, but Bokuto looks delighted. 

After they eat, Konoha and Bokuto take to the couch to play _Mario Kart_. Akaashi hangs back, helping Washio clean up. 

“You seem to be doing much better,” Washio observes.

“I am,” Akaashi says honestly. “I don’t feel as overwhelmed by everything as I did before. Even when I am feeling an attack coming on, it’s easier to stop the shift and calm myself down.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Washio replies. He looks out to where Konoha and Bokuto are roughhousing on the floor. “Will you be letting Bokuto-san go, then?”

Akaashi follows his gaze. Bokuto’s bright laughter fills the apartment, even as Konoha gets the upper hand and pins him to the floor. They haven’t known each other long, but Akaashi already can’t imagine life without Bokuto at his side. He depends on him.

But that isn’t true, either. His last panic attack had surfaced in the middle of the night as he’d fought to complete an assignment on time, and he’d been able to calm himself down on his own. If he tried, he could probably attend class on his own, knowing Bokuto or one of his friends is reachable by phone if the need arises. He feels fairly confident he doesn’t _need_ Bokuto’s help anymore.

So why does he feel so reluctant to let him go?

“I don’t know,” Akaashi replies honestly. 

Washio hums. “When you figure it out, you should let him know.”

With that, Washio walks out to the living room, plucking the remote out of Konoha’s hands and starting up a fresh race. Akaashi watches the three of them and puzzles over Washio’s words. 

Figure out what, exactly? And what is he supposed to tell Bokuto?

Eventually he gives up and joins the others. He sits on the opposite end of the couch from Washio. Bokuto hands him the remote, and he successfully beats all three of them in various races. Bokuto hypes him up like he’s won the Grand Prix. Tentatively, he offers Akaashi a high five, and when Akaashi meets it, he beams.

***

“You did it!” Bokuto exclaims as Akaashi steps out of his last exam. Akaashi opens his arms, and Bokuto hugs him carefully. “How do you think you did?”

“I feel very confident,” Akaashi replies. They separate, and Akaashi leads them back to his apartment. Bokuto offers Tanaka a high five as they pass him.

“So what are you gonna do during the break?” Bokuto asks. “Are you going home?”

Akaashi shudders. “No. I’ll stay here and get some sleep.”

He looks over and meets Bokuto’s eye, and Bokuto grants him a bright smile. The ache in Akaashi’s heart grows.

“Bokuto-san...I’m afraid we need to talk,” he says.

Bokuto’s smile fades. It’s still there, but tinged with sadness now. It doesn’t reach his eyes. “Here’s the part where you say I no longer have a job, huh,” he guesses.

Akaashi looks down at the cement under their feet. There are plenty of people around, but he still feels like he can breathe just fine. “If you didn’t perform your duties so admirably, I would have been in need of your services for a much longer period of time.”

Bokuto chuckles. “I don’t think they’d let me keep my job if I tried to stay assigned to all the clients I like.”

Akaashi’s eyes meet Bokuto’s.

“Friends,” Bokuto says quickly. “Your friends--I mean--we are friends--we’re friends, right?”

Akaashi thinks about Washio’s words. _When you figure it out, you should let him know._ It hadn’t been clear to him that night. It hadn’t been clear to him an hour ago when he’d walked into his exam. But now it seems plain as day: the feelings in Akaashi’s chest are stronger than platonic.

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says. “Since you are no longer my assigned shifter and I am no longer your client, can we spend time together?”

“Yes?” Bokuto says, tilting his head. “That’s what you do with friends. You spend time with them.”

“You would also spend time with your significant other, if you had one. Right?” Akaashi observes.

“I don’t have one,” Bokuto answers quickly. 

Akaashi nods. “I know. I don’t have one either, at the moment.”

Bokuto purses his lips. “If you’re trying to say something, it’s a lot easier for me if you just say it. Talking around the point always just leaves me confused.”

“Can I show you instead?” Akaashi asks.

Bokuto nods.

Slowly, Akaashi reaches over and takes Bokuto’s hands in his. He leans in, his eyes locked on Bokuto’s the whole time, and presses a soft kiss to Bokuto’s cheek. By the time he leans back again, both of them are bright red.

“Akaashi...do you want to go on a date with me?” Bokuto asks, smiling brightly.

Akaashi squeezes Bokuto’s fingers. “I thought you’d never ask.”


End file.
